Things I've bought:
Dress, Eye Liner, Nail Polish Remover, Nail Shaper.
=D

Lunched @ Kaffir & Lime by ThaiExpress, Paragon.

Haha.

Crowd.

Walk the road.

Dinner's at Geylang.
We walked damn far can!
But ok la. Food's not bad.

And we combed Geylang.
Oh btw, we = Me, Kenneth, Kevin and Kaiboon.

Tired, but fruitful day.
Thanks Kevin for the birthday cake.
Haha.

And yea, i realise.
I'm so free on the actual day.
LOL

This is created by boredom.

谁说小明很快乐。
这是小明的世界。
Ignore the notes.
And i realised that it's damn difficult to draw something happy.
Poor 小明.

This is the love for music,
if you can spot em.

It's a rose, in a lady's heart.

But it's wired.

It's a happy hearty balloon,
But it's where the bear choose to hang itself.
Tragedy.

And yes, you sit alone.
You're lonely.

肚

子

饿

!

Haha.
Busy weekend ahead.
Busy week following.
Busy and damn-it-gotta-be-great weekend after that.

Cuz cuz cuz,
it's the... 6th!
=D

Aye.

I've spent the amount I saved this few days on med.
=.=''
Feel so wasted.
HA!

Damn it better cure me.

I'm so going to the pharmacy tml and get some med.

We're all in our twenties already.
It's time to grow up and re-prioritize whatever that used to be so important in our life.
Are they really that important?
Hmm.
A penny for your thoughts.


And and and, I'm still getting myself the present i want for my 21st.
It's only a matter of time.

37.6 and not going any lower.
Why not just let me die?


好想疯狂的爱一场。

但它好遥远。
似乎不属于我。

Ain't feeling good.
Fever going off and coming back.
Head hurts in a way that's never before.
And the pain in my chest.
The on-off gastric.
Which leads to severe stomach cramps.
argh.

Nice one.

38.o degree celcius at 12 midnight.

And throughout the night, the temperature fluctuates from 38.0 to 38.5 degree celcius.

I hate it when I'm running a temperature in the middle of the night.

It makes me feel so alone, with nobody to be there for me.

=(

Get well soon.

My room is filled with love.

Nice smelling candles, nice tasting snacks, nice beer bottle ( I love the beer too), and nice pretty flowers.

My Hello Kitty tissues.. wahaha. So childish.

My fav jewellery brand.

And i love to mask myself up.

But but but..
My room is so messy.
>.<

Damn tired today.
Woke up early to go for breakfast at mcd.
Then went NTUC to shop for basic necessities.
Bought make-up remover from Watson's which cost $6 plus cuz he gave me a voucher to use.
He bought a tee from Converse, and i bought a hp strap from Minitoon, as well as a duckie tt's like.. so damn cute.

Spent so much recently.
Shall stop spending.
Can't afford to spend anymore.
At least till i get my S$1000 back.
I can't spend too. I need it to do my stuff.
And HE is hindering me.
Wah feel damn fucked up when my life is hindered by someone like this.
I so regret wasting my almost 2 years, on someone like him.
God i must be insane or blind.
Hah.

Oh. And my slippers that I bought recently broke.
Haha.
So now I need new flip flops.

Baked pineapple tarts again.
Delicious.
=)

It seems like I'm having cold feet again.
Will i be even able to move on, and get on it again?
Somehow, this kind of feelings always appear when i think that everything's going on well.
It sucks.

I baked pineapple tarts the other day.
It's those melt-in-your-mouth type.
Damn yummy i tell you!

Dinner at Rui Chun after school on Friday.
Standard drop la.
But still, it's so much cheaper than the Geylang one.
Well, at least i think so.

Went to Mustafa after dinner.
And I'm amazed.
Can go there dig treasure.

Today's a tiring day.
Went shopping a little.
Went Scape to take a look at the flea market.
Went cycling (I cheated a lil here cuz i din't cycle. hahaha! He did the hard work.) at ECP cuz Kenneth wanted to go.
And had dinner at Lagoon FC.
Food's yummy.
And my body's aching all over.

But still, it's a day well spent.

It feels so great after 3 hours of basketball.
Kids nowadays, make me super 'hot' ah.

Watched The Spy Next Door.
Damn funny can.
And the kids are damn cute.
How i wish they're mine. haha!
Even Jackie Chan looks cute, and that's so rare.

Then went to Tampines West CC's Mc Donald's to complete my assignment.
Yea another one down.
Cool.
And something weird happened in the toilet.
Well. It's the first time that i picked up my pace super fast.
Hah.
Lets brush that aside.

Muscle pain like hell now.
Shall exercise more.
And i have a broken toe nail that hurts so much.

At last, i can enjoy a day off before starting on other assignments during the weekend.
hmmm.

I love this song.
It's so.. real.
hah.

My bday coming.
CNY coming.
Assignments deadline coming.
Exams coming.

o.0
I so wanna go shopping.

It's confirmed.

6 Feb - 8 Feb 2010
Pasir Ris Costa Sands Resort
BBQ celebration on the 6th.

=)

Yay.

Pineapple tarts for dinner..

*Cheering in tears*

yay.

哭过之后，一切还是一样。

哭红了的眼眶，提醒自己世界依然在转。

哭了；泪干了；继续走着。

就像个刚打完战的兵，
满身是伤的继续走着。

Wonder how long i can hold on.

Well well..

有一股想放弃的冲动。

I'm feeling super fucking down. =((

There's so many assignments to complete.
And i so wanna do a good job.
But i don't seem to be able to do so.
I don't even know whether I can finish them on time.
Hai.

And what now..
Super low on cash.
NO MONEY FOR EVERYTHING.
No money to top-up my ez-link.
No money for lunch.
No money for dinner if i have school.
And that means that I have to eat instant noodles.
And I SUPER HATE TO EAT INSTANT NOODLES.
='((((((((((((((
And soon I'll have no money for instant noodles.
How nice.

Blame myself for not working lor.
I'm such a loser lor right?

And it's so super cold now.
Makes me feel so sick.

And my cup of water taste so vodka-y.
Fuck la.
It's suppose to be plain water!

And now I'm hungry.
What do i have?
Instant noodles..............................
I so wanna kill myself.
The thoughts of instant noodles brings me back to the no money sadness.
Hai.

What else?
So many assignments that I don't know where i should start.


Just let me die la.
Easier, better, happier.

I need some warmth man..
Hai.
Only if someone can deliver warm food to me, give me a hug and tell me that everything's alright now..
But no.
I'm so alone.
Fucking alone..

任性。

不同的是，离开的是我。
放手的是我。
逃避的也是我。

Guess I'm right.
I'm more suited to be alone, especially after so many rounds of heartbreak.
I already have that protective mindset that protects me from sinking too deep, and the alert turns on whenever it senses something that's not right.
Human brain is really, amazing.
I din't know that such thing exist before.
Maybe that's why people mean by following what your heart tells you.
But in this case, it'll be following what my heart order me to.
Hah.

I don't hope to meet any Mr. Right anymore, for i know, I have met the right one before.
But at the wrong time.
We're just too young.
And I'm never a good gf to start with.
That's my only regret.
He's the one that can really make me laugh till I feel like an idiot.
I can still remember vividly the song that he sang, although it's not on pitch.. and well, the lyrics help alot more than the melody..
The sincerity..
The look on his face..
The Truly Madly Deeply.
Our first movie.. White Chicks.
wow.

Not say that I'm trying to save anything here, or confess anything.
Or that I still have feelings for him.
No it's not.

It's just memories.
Freaking memories that I kept deep inside me.
And hoping that one day, that feeling will re-ignite inside me.

The feeling of being truly madly deeply in love.
Till then, i guess i won't be ready to accept anyone.

I don't know what got over me now.
It's just emotion taking me over~
Hah..

Was having a temperature yesterday, and am still having it today.

argh.

And my thermometer was stucked at 37.3 degree celcius yesterday. So i don't really have any idea what was my exact temperature.

Time to get a new one hur.

Terrible.

Played basketball with the three Ks on Sat.

Kenneth, Kevin and Kaiboon.

Haha.

Kenneth was so happy when we got him the new basketball la.

Feels great after such a long time without exercising.

And i saw my primary school classmate.

Then when Kevin went off, the three of us went to do my assignments.

Kenneth din't wanna go home. Cuz he say the next day's his birthday and he wanna enjoy life.

His enjoy life = go arcade.

Hah.

So we brought him to EHub's arcade to play.

He really know how to enjoy life.

12 plus am already still don't want to go home.

Kids nowadays.. Tsk tsk.

Nothing much to do, so we went prawning.

Haha..

Joker la.

Kenneth kept refering the prawns as fish.

And we caught nothing. =.=''

That's it.

And the nxt day i'm sick.

wow.

Sian-ed.

I'm so going to Pizza Hut!

Wait till i got money ah.

10 bucks for 2 weeks.
Lets see.
$0.71 for each day.

And i still have to get my books cuz my tests and all are nearing.

Fine lor.
Fuck them and fail then.





Din't know that someone with red bill can still go party and club and enjoy life.
How nice.
Sick for a month? Can't go work because you're sick?
Then still can go party and club ah?
Nice joke ah.

PUI.

我好怀念以前那股莫名的勇气。

拿起鼓槌，一句“我来打鼓”，就这样，就这样。
没怎么练习就上了台。
双手双脚就随着音乐的节奏，动了起来。
从头到尾，脑袋都是一片空白。

下了台，只有一句话。
“我，做到了。”

我好想把它找回来。
现在的我，害怕所有的一切。
害怕未来，
害怕失败，
害怕犯错。

自己爱的是什么，
自己爱的又是谁，
我毫无头绪。

也许，我已经不再爱任何东西，也不再爱任何人了。
不是我放弃了，
只是我太累了，
无法再爱上什么东西，什么人。

我寻找的只是种安慰吧。
被人拥抱的安慰。
被人疼的安慰。
被人呵护的安慰。

那，因该不是爱吧。

那，不是爱。

那，根本不是爱。





现在的我，也忘了爱到底是什么吧。

感慨。

No. of ladies' push-up do-able: 3 sets of 10.

No. of standard push-up do-able: 2

No. of chin-up do-able: 1/8. LOL

Weak man!

Lets count down.

35 more days.

有一股想哭的冲动。
不知道为了什么。

最后一次不由自主地流泪，也是几年前的事了。
现在更糟。
好闷。
好辛苦。
好痛苦。
好难受。
好难过。

我到底怎么了。。

单纯的想快乐一些，难道是个罪孽？
怎么做都错。
错错错。
我到底该怎么做，你们才会放过我？

Ya right.

It's so fucking tempting to go MIA again..
Maybe it'll be good for me to live in my own world forever.

I'm feeling damn weird, damn lost.
=(
I know i shouldn't be bothered by it, but i freaking am.
Cuz i do not want that person to go round crying for sympathy and badmouthing me, making it seems like i'm a damn fucked up bitch when you know, it's not me.
I din't even do anything.
I hate being treated unfairly.
And this is super unfair to me.

I'm just trying so hard to move forward, live my life, be happy from the bottom of my heart.
And you have to crash it down, drag me back to point zero, and then what?
Snigger at me?

You've won.

And I've fucking lost.

Happy now?

I've never ever feel so miserable before...
And crying out loud doesn't even help.

Maybe i'll need more booze.
I shall kill myself with alcohol.

cheers.

Sometimes,
all you need is something to divert you from the hurtings that you feel in your fucking heart.

Fuck you.
I am never, and am not with him.
What the fuck is it that you say I am with him BEFORE?
Fuck your fucking brain and childish fuck up fucktard.
Stop thinking that the whole fucking world is letting you down.
I din't even do such a thing.
My words can't be trusted?
Come on. Stop being such a fucking childish freako. DAMN.
I believe that my words can be trusted more than someone who has the records of fucking sleep, opps sorry no it should be fuck around, lie your way through every single thing, faking such a fucking bogus slang, etc.
You're crap man.
Did i even mention how your way of lying through this and that, faking this and that in NS just to get those fucking excuses, and end up thinking that you deserve them instead of feeling guilty from all those lying, digust me totally?

Pathetic fuck.
I'm feeling damn fucking off already and there you go accusing me again.

Get a life la
FUCKTARD.

I'm fucking pissed man.

I'm so tired.

I think I prefer to be left alone.
Swear off any commitment, I don't need or want any.

I just want to be free.
I just want to do what I want.
I just want nobody there to tell me what to do.

I realised my mistake.
I should get too close.
It's not what i want.

Happy New Year, earthlings.
May 2010 be the world's doom day.
Don't have to bother to make any new year resolution.
Hah.

Just kidding.
That sentence's for me.
2010 will be a great year for everyone elses out there.

Good day, good year.
goodbye.